Cat turd saga
Feb. 20th, 2008 01:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hdsqrlYes, I know. The title is a bit much. But it happened, and it's marginally funny, so I thought I'd record it for my own future amusement.
So, we have this dog. And the dog is just now 2 years old...growing out of her annoying puppyhood, but still clinging to the parts of her puppyhood that she likes best. Like, for instance, (such as...) rooting around in the catbox in the hopes that one of the cats has laid a beef-jerkyish kind of turd. Which, the cats being what they are, haven't, so instead the poop-bits get left out of the catbox, usually strung out along the length of the hallway. (Which is a whole topic unto itself...can't the dog realize that the poop-bits aren't good eating when she picks them up? Why does she have to artfully arrange them down the hallway rug?) She doesn't do this on a daily basis...only when she's been left to wander the house of her own free will with no one around to make that AAH-AAH-AAH-SASHA noise when she heads down the hall.
So yesterday I picked up Brenna for an appointment with a high school counselor to go over her class choices, and we were gone maybe an hour. Before we left, I asked Connor to let the dog out so she could run around and stretch. (They were off of school yesterday, and because she tends to get into things, they have permission to crate her when they're otherwise busy doing things, with the understanding that she is not to be crated all day.) By the time Brenna and I got back, yep, cat poop was strung out down the hallway.
I was in a hurry to get back to work, so I told the kids to get it picked up. It was old cat poop that had dried into almost that gray color, so it wasn't stuck to the rug or even stinky, and it was broken into 4 bits, each about the size of a penny. Gross, but easy to clean up, right? Yeah, you'd think.
By the time we got home from work, FIVE HOURS LATER, the cat poop was still in the hallway. WTF? This is the same hallway that runs outside the kids' rooms, so you KNOW they had been stepping over it all afternoon. Holy crap, just PICK IT UP already. But no. Since it happened on Connor's watch, Brenna refused to pick it up, and I can't say that I blame her. I wasn't about to pick it up AGAIN, because god only knows how many times I've picked it up in the past, and dammit, I told them at NOON to pick it up. Chris saw it, and blew a gasket, telling Connor to PICK IT UP NOW. Connor responded by having a total meltdown, saying he COULDN'T pick it up, that he would throw up, etc.
Oh. My. God. Seriously, people, 4 tiny dried cat poops...HALF cat poops at that. But now the game was on, and I'd be damned if I was going to lose this one. Chris took Brenna to Young Marines, leaving me to ride out the meltdown with Connor. He stood there in the hallway, bracing himself with one hand on the wall, paper towel in hand, sobbing and gagging, and just generally carrying on as if I'd asked him to pick up fresh ones with his teeth or something. I told him to pick them up, he'd say he CAN'T. I say YOU CAN and YOU WILL and he'd gag some more. Finally I gave him a big bowl to put in front of his face, because dammit, I've bagged up a cat that's been dead for 3 days and was all leaky, and I've changed your diapers boy, and picking up 4 dried up bits of cat poo are the LEAST of the gross things you'll have to do in your lifetime. I even gave him a walmart bag and covered each individual microscopic turd with its own individual paper towel, and STILL he carried on. I took off my jacket and got comfortable. I can wait. I've sat up 3 nights straight with a crying baby. I've birthed two children with no pain meds, both with back labor (OMG that SUCKED). I've had both ankles smashed in a car accident. I've been to the freaking DMV at LUNCHTIME. I can WAIT this OUT, boy. Hah.
So...forty-five minutes later, and one honest to god throwing up episode into the bowl (TOTALLY self-induced, based on the pitiful quanitity he was able to gag up), the 4 cat turds were in the bag. YESSSSSS. Weeeee are the championssssss, my friends.......
I sent him to go wash his hands and face and brush his teeth, and we were off for Young Marines. I don't think he's spoken to either Chris or I since, heh. That's okay...I mentioned I've been to the DMV before, yes? ;)
A little more drama next time, please. I don't think we've had quite enough over this.
So yesterday I picked up Brenna for an appointment with a high school counselor to go over her class choices, and we were gone maybe an hour. Before we left, I asked Connor to let the dog out so she could run around and stretch. (They were off of school yesterday, and because she tends to get into things, they have permission to crate her when they're otherwise busy doing things, with the understanding that she is not to be crated all day.) By the time Brenna and I got back, yep, cat poop was strung out down the hallway.
I was in a hurry to get back to work, so I told the kids to get it picked up. It was old cat poop that had dried into almost that gray color, so it wasn't stuck to the rug or even stinky, and it was broken into 4 bits, each about the size of a penny. Gross, but easy to clean up, right? Yeah, you'd think.
By the time we got home from work, FIVE HOURS LATER, the cat poop was still in the hallway. WTF? This is the same hallway that runs outside the kids' rooms, so you KNOW they had been stepping over it all afternoon. Holy crap, just PICK IT UP already. But no. Since it happened on Connor's watch, Brenna refused to pick it up, and I can't say that I blame her. I wasn't about to pick it up AGAIN, because god only knows how many times I've picked it up in the past, and dammit, I told them at NOON to pick it up. Chris saw it, and blew a gasket, telling Connor to PICK IT UP NOW. Connor responded by having a total meltdown, saying he COULDN'T pick it up, that he would throw up, etc.
Oh. My. God. Seriously, people, 4 tiny dried cat poops...HALF cat poops at that. But now the game was on, and I'd be damned if I was going to lose this one. Chris took Brenna to Young Marines, leaving me to ride out the meltdown with Connor. He stood there in the hallway, bracing himself with one hand on the wall, paper towel in hand, sobbing and gagging, and just generally carrying on as if I'd asked him to pick up fresh ones with his teeth or something. I told him to pick them up, he'd say he CAN'T. I say YOU CAN and YOU WILL and he'd gag some more. Finally I gave him a big bowl to put in front of his face, because dammit, I've bagged up a cat that's been dead for 3 days and was all leaky, and I've changed your diapers boy, and picking up 4 dried up bits of cat poo are the LEAST of the gross things you'll have to do in your lifetime. I even gave him a walmart bag and covered each individual microscopic turd with its own individual paper towel, and STILL he carried on. I took off my jacket and got comfortable. I can wait. I've sat up 3 nights straight with a crying baby. I've birthed two children with no pain meds, both with back labor (OMG that SUCKED). I've had both ankles smashed in a car accident. I've been to the freaking DMV at LUNCHTIME. I can WAIT this OUT, boy. Hah.
So...forty-five minutes later, and one honest to god throwing up episode into the bowl (TOTALLY self-induced, based on the pitiful quanitity he was able to gag up), the 4 cat turds were in the bag. YESSSSSS. Weeeee are the championssssss, my friends.......
I sent him to go wash his hands and face and brush his teeth, and we were off for Young Marines. I don't think he's spoken to either Chris or I since, heh. That's okay...I mentioned I've been to the DMV before, yes? ;)
A little more drama next time, please. I don't think we've had quite enough over this.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:14 pm (UTC)Something else we share--back labor and no meds, twice! Yay for us!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:40 pm (UTC)But good job! Yeah, I actually went through a midwife with both kids...drank tea that tasted like dirt (literally, it was horrid) during labor...supposedly it did something fantastic to my cervix...all I knew was that I was ready to just keep the kid inside me forever if it would just make the pain go away. :p
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:50 pm (UTC)It amuses me, too, but I'm going to continue commenting on it!
Kenzie I ended up having some minor meds. She was face up instead of face down so I did about an hour of delivery room aerobics trying to make her turn. She ended up being vacuum suction so I got a local anesthetic (novacain for your va-jay-jay) for that. But she was only a 3 hour labor.
Claire, OTOH, was about 20 minutes. She was 9 pushes. In fact they gave me one hit of drugs to slow her down!
So I guess I can't say totally med-free, but really minor stuff. Back labor, though--holy CRAP! Matt's poor hand and arm were cramped for a day from rubbing my back cuz we didn't bring in the overnight back on check-in and he didn't have time to go back for it.
Like I tell all my friends: the body was MADE to give birth. Let it do it's job and stop interfering. I hate it when women schedule their epidurals as soon as they find out their pregnant.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 11:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-21 12:06 am (UTC)So you've heard my sad tale of woe, re: birthing, right?
Lots of meds, lots of interesting things (including crosscut scars, one inside, one out).
2 C-sections, the second one was my choice. (My exact words to the doctor who suggested maybe a vaginal delivery - "If this one is even half the size of my first one, there is no way in hell I'll be having it 'naturally'. You *will* go in and get it.")
The second one was delivered a week before my calendar date - 9 lbs, 9 oz
The first one?
12 days late, never dilated past 2 cm, emergency C-section.
11 lbs, 4 oz, 23-1/2 in. long, 15 cm head. No way was he coming out the usual path.
Yeah, meds - lots and lots of them. Meds are good...
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:49 pm (UTC)and yeah, back labor=teh suck. unfortunately, i was induced so had to go the c-section route after all that pain, and was mostly in a fog.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:51 pm (UTC)Oh, God! *gags and laughs hysterically, because dead cat = ewwww*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 08:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 09:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 09:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-20 10:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-02-21 12:08 am (UTC)