A commentary on the people who work around me.

[hdsqrl]

My funny friend whom I've been eating lunch with regularly wasn't at work today - her 4 yr old swallowed a coin that got lodged in his throat and they'll have to remove it surgically (a story I can't WAIT to hear, though I do feel bad for the whole family).  So I sat alone at lunch today in the cafeteria and people-watched.

We've got some really interesting people working here.  I don't have a clue if they'd be interesting to talk to...I think closer to the truth, their characterizations and mannerisms are just fun to watch and to make up stories to.  I'll try to describe these folks as best I can, for your equal enjoyment.  Oh, and I don't know any of these people beyond just passing them in the halls, so I'm going to make up names for each of them.

 

Richard:  I'm sure that's not anywhere close to his name, but I'm coming up blank for a good name for this guy.  Picture one of those cartoon vultures with the skinny, thrust-forward necks, and make the vulture super skinny, and add a fluff of mousey brown hair to the top, and put him in baggy pants and some kind of combat/hiking boots that look like they came from LL Bean WAY back in the day.  Schlump your way down the hallway, crumpled brown bag in hand, and add some coke-bottle glasses.  Smile and nod to every person that you meet, and you'll have Richard.  I really like this guy for some reason, and my mood lifts every time I pass him the hall.  I've overheard people talking about him, about how he's been overbearing with the WELCOME TO THE DEPARTMENT sort of greetings, but I've never witnessed him doing that.  I just think he'd be a really cool guy to talk to, and I bet he has a million geeky stories to share.

Lonetta: I have no idea where this lady works, but I see her in the cafeteria each day.  She's a 40-ish black lady, with a butt that's a mile wide.  Her overall weight is up there, but the butt is way bigger than the rest of her.  (You know how the bottom half of Mandisa from American Idol didn't seem to match the top half?  Imagine that x2 or x3.) I've never heard her talk (she usually sits with a group of friends), but she seems cheery enough.  I'm just mesmerized by the sheer size of the butt, and it intrigues the scientist in me.  How does that all work?  (and note, I am not at ALL slamming the whole "fat" issue, 'cause I'm fighting that fight myself.  It's just...the butt.  It's just so...big.  And...ROUND.)

Sherry: This woman, I think, serves as a secretary.  She's always quiet, but always smiling like she knows you.  She reminds me of my mom, crossed with my aunt.  I bet I'd get along with her, and that we could sit out on floats in a pool, drinking iced tea, and complaining about our thighs.  Then we'd go get some lemon meringue pie.

Henrietta: Okay, this woman, I DO know the name of, but I don't know her personally, so I've changed her name to protect the innocent.  She sits on the other side of the cube wall from me, is reallyreally old, and farts and burps LOUDLY, then acts shocked that such a noise came from within her.  She complains about everything, but only to herself.  If someone comes to talk to her, she's very nice.  I think she's just hit that stage of life where it's difficult to make it through each day happily.  I used to dread Thursdays and Fridays, because those are the days she works, but now I almost look forward to the chamber music she plays each day to accompany her bodily noises.  She's grown on me, and I'll be sad when she passes on.

Fred: Today was the first day I'd noticed this guy in the cafeteria.  He's rather lumpy and geeky looking, and looks like that sort of guy who has probably never honed enough social skills to be able to handle himself on a date.  The kind of guy people in a department take pity on and let him sit with them just 'cause they know that he won't have anyone else to sit with, and really, he's not so bad, right, guys?  Fred has the most obnoxious laugh I've ever heard...he reminds of a characature or something.  I can't even describe the laugh well...it's just loud, and high pitched, and from the gut.  Absolutely hilarious as an object of study, but I'd probably have to kill him if he worked near me.  Fred made me laugh today.

Sue: This tiny girl works in the cafeteria, usually at the cash register.  I think she's got some position of authority in there, because once I was talking to the manager and she came up and added to the conversation.  Very nice girl, but she's got something amiss with her legs that requires her to use braces when she walks.  Her legs are also very short.  She sits up on this tall stool so that she can reach the register and when she does so, you'd never really guess she was anything other than just a regular short kind of girl.  I like her, too, even though she always seems to be complaining about something when I get my morning cappuccino.  She'll complain and moan, then smile at me and tell me to have a good day.  I think that's funny.

Leo: This guy runs the supply store.  I think he's a Muppet.  Seriously.  A helpful Muppet, but a Muppet nonetheless. I think if I ever saw his forearms outside of the long sleeves he usually wears, I'd have to examine them for sticks.  Enough said.   I think I'll go down and get another pencil, just in case he's wearing short sleeves today. 

Well, I guess that's enough for now.  Henrietta's getting all worked up on the other side of the cube wall, counting the money in her wallet.  I know she's at least got a ten.  *listening*  No sound of coins tinkling, but I do believe she's got a lot of receipts or something stashed away in there.  It's a shame I can't sew while I'm at work.  I have a hella-big load of things I need to work on.

Ahh, well...only 4.5 hours to go.  Who do you have that's interesting at work?  I need more things to read. :)