An oldie but a goodie...

[hdsqrl]

If LJ Were a Bar by Karen_Walker
Username
Bartender	nottygypsy
Bouncer	mljm
Dancing Badly	thebruce
Playing Pool	malvito
Playing Darts	grnvixen
Singing Karaoke	jmstrange
Got in with a Fake ID	purpledumbass
Guy with a Mullet	alexismachine
Too Drunk to Stand	5rings
Hitting on Everyone	joegoda
Hot Chick	louie_d_